i know i know

Shitty blogger of the year award, direct it right here.

I’ll be 30 weeks tomorrow. Everything has been going really well. School is easier this semester, the girls are getting easier, and life has been really good.

We still don’t know what flavor baby this is but we do have names picked out. Gr.ace for a girl and Mi.chael for a boy.  E.lizabeth seems to be excited about having another baby in the house but I do wonder how much of it stems from having someone to torture her younger sister.  Car.oline does not want me to bring the baby home but she seems okay talking to the baby and reading big sister books.

I’m still honestly in shock that I’m here. I know it’s fucking stupid to say that but I am.  I have an empty room waiting to be painted and decorated and cleaned up and I just haven’t touched it.  I’m gigantic and I can feel this little way all day and it still feels surreal.  I really didn’t think we’d have any more kids after Caroline, I didn’t think I could put myself into the land of TTC when it took us so much to have Caro.line.  I think I went into it numb and I still haven’t broken free of that.

With maybe one exception.  One of my best friends had her 2nd daughter about a month ago and went I went to visit her I wanted to s.teal her newborn. The smell! Do you guys know how sweet a new baby smells?? I started to get excited that it would be me soon.  The next day the numbness came back.

Then my dh told me that he’s excited to have a baby around again and he loves the baby stage so much. Uh, what? I mean, that’s fantastic but that leaves me with the impression that he isn’t done after this one.

I have 2 years of clinicals for nursing coming up here….

 

Alright I wanted to catch up. I have a growth u/s on 3/14, I will try to post after that. I’m sorry for not posting more. I don’t know what to say half the time on here.